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view sharklover bio page
sharklover - Sunday Mar 08, 2009
(beer and cigarettes)
Weight: 0.0

Wow! So this site has really changed since the last time I was on it! I am very impressed!

Well I figuered that I would give this a go again since it seemed to really help me last time. Plus there's so many nice and encouraging people on here.

Life has been oober stressful recently. I started a new job last June and will be fired from that job sometime this month. Its a long story, but bassically they said I could resign or be fired, but if I resigned I would have to work a month to train my replacement and not get unemployment as well as a whole bunch of stuff that only benefitted the company.. so I chose to be fired. Now its just a matter of time before I'm jobless. And then the stress of having no income comes, but I'll cross that bridge when I get there. Luckily, I have very supportive friends and family to help get me through this.

With all this stress and thoughts of health, or dieting have gone out the window. My days have been spent at work, visiting a lawyer about work, at a bar with friends after work, or sleeping. There is no nutritian involved in any of thos things, so naturally my weight has skyrocketted.

And now its time to get back in control. My goal is to be 140 by September 5th which is when I'm going to a Jimmy Buffett concert!!! I'm super excited!! It might be a difficult goal, but I think I can do it. I just gotta focus on the future and not instant gratification.

And so that's where I'm at now. I'm glad I finally pulled myself back here and I'm looking forward to checking in on some of the people I've seen before on here and maybe meeting some new people!

Maria7 on 03/08/2009:
Instant gratification...you said it....I do SOOO well during the day, only to give in and eat late at nite...adding MORE unnecessary calories! Uhhhhh!

hollybelle on 03/09/2009:
Sorry to hear about your job. Wondering what happened - fill us in when you feel like talking about it. Is there a chance everything will work out, anyway? Glad you have decided to focus on health right now. That's a good choice. There are so many things we can't control, but our habits are something we can work on (at least most of the time, I think).

hollybelle on 03/09/2009:
P.S. Welcome back.

superstarr on 03/09/2009:
That really sucks about your job! I'm sorry to hear that.

I had my second baby in June 08. I started trying to lose weight in August. Did well August and Sept and then Oct/Nov/Dec didn't try at all. Then now Jan/Feb/March trying. So that is how long it has taken me. If that makes sense...lol

sharklover - Saturday Jan 12, 2008
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 185.5

ok, Last night I went to bed at 10pm and to sleep around 11. I slept til 7:30am, woke up for a bit, laid in bed and fell back asleep. I then woke up at 9:45, stayed in bed until 10am when I finally got up. I went to bed really late for me last night and woke up really late for me this morning, even so it was nice to sleep in! On a normal night I go to bed between 7 and 8pm and to sleep between 9 and 10. I wake up between 5:30 and 6am. So I do get enough sleep, but I'm still tired. Always tired.

Yesterday at work I was feeling chest pain. It totally scared me. I mean I'm fat but whenever I go to the doctor I get positive reports except for the weight. So it was weird. On the plus side I work with a bunch of nurses, so I had one take my blood pressure and told her my symptoms and she said it was probably nothing but if it gets worse to go immediately. It didn't get worse, it subsided for most of the day and then came back a little later at the end of the day. I don't know, its just scary.

I've come to the realization that I have no motivation or will power or must not really be ready to change. Which sucks, cause I do want to, but I can't control myself. Through the first half of the day I usually do okay, eating healthy, drinking lots of water, and then I get home and it all goes to hell in a hand basket. What's the point of me doing well the first half if I just come home and erase all my efforts? Blah. Its annoying. I really think I need someone, a professional perhaps, to give me some kind of structure. I do best with structure but I can't seem to do it for myself right now.

So for today I think I'll keep trying, eat well, exercise, and if it all goes to hell later, well its just a battle I'll have to keep fighting I guess.

Progress as of today: 3.5 lbs lost so far, only 35.5 lbs to go!

dearerdiarist on 01/12/2008:
Anything that you do on the positive side is good. Even IF one falls apart in the last part of the day. I don't think that it cancels out the good; I think that it is more like exercising a muscle that you are developing. You work in a world of professionals and I can see that you would feel more confident if you hired a pro to help you with structure as you say and thereby, motivation. Probably a good idea. Maybe you can talk to CharleyAngel about that... she has a personal trainer; and also Crittermom, who has a membership at the Y. I'm thinking that if you are unusually tired, you may have some kind of border line anemia? The pains and the listlessness...???

Moody2 on 01/12/2008:
I too, can do so well during the day, and lose it at night. It's been a battle of mine for years. I am doing better now than I have in months. I have made a deal with myself to eat a good dinner around 6...and then nothing for the rest of the night except maybe a cup or two of cocoa...for some reason that satisfies my cravings and fills me up. They have some very good low cal or diet cocoa..just a thought..

You can do this..dont give up!

greengirl on 01/12/2008:
I also have gone through a period where I have been really good all day, and then bingeing a little in the evening. It undid some of the good I had done in the previous 18 months. I am just getting on top of the situation now, and am trying to eat nothing after 7pm. Its not easy but it will be worth it in the long run. Try to stay strong. You can do it!!

workingit2 on 01/12/2008:
Sometimes I have chest pains and have learned to recognize them as anxiety attacks. Of course the other day I had pinched a nerve and it made my left shoulder hurt really bad and my left arm...now THAT was scary! I kept my cool and whaddya know...it wasn't a heart attack lol. But I do know how scary it can be. Take care of yourself and relax and do some deep breathing. Have a great night and enjoy!

shadetree on 01/12/2008:
do you eat right when you get home? I used to, and found that I would be 'hungry' all night. Once I got started I couldn't stop....getting rid of the bad carbs helped with that for the most part, but now that I work out when I get home instead of eat, I do so much better. Just a suggestion - works for me. You need to find what works for you...Moody suggested cocoa - I just broke down and got some sugar free cocoa and it is very tasty. Don't give up...but don't stress yourself too much either!

caz on 01/13/2008:
I think the best thing for you to do is realise when it's not going ok and accept you had a **** day or night and just say to yourself..ok that was bad for me etc, and try to be positive about the next day. Accept it for what it was.. Don't be hard on yourself.. You are after all only human like the rest of us..No-one's perfect.. Why do we strive for it when its so unobtainable?? Be kinder to yourself, it helps with positivity!! good luck

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/13/2008:
a good suggestion for you is to eat a snack on the way home from work. many times people binge because they haven't eaten in awhile and have low blood sugar. bc we let our body's blood sugar get too low, we find ourselves binging to fix it. I know this is one major reason for my binges. so, have something with some good carbs....and maybe some good protein too after work before coming home. Even 1-2 pieces of fruit should help. like an apple or two, an apple and orange, milk and a banana, string cheese and an apple, etc.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/13/2008:
i like shadetree's advice...maybe have a snack before coming home and workout when you get home!

MsKitty on 02/23/2008:
I wish you would come back.

sharklover - Friday Jan 11, 2008
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 185.5

ok, so this morning I took a multi-vitamin that among a million other things contains B1 and B2. So we shall see if that helps at all today. *crossing fingers* Now i just need something to help me wake up earlier in the morning. It is always my intention tog et up early and do some exercises before my shower but it never happens. I'm a master at the snooze button! Off to work now, have a gret day everyone!

Progress as of today: 3.5 lbs lost so far, only 35.5 lbs to go!

hollybelle on 01/11/2008:
Glad to see you back. Don't know why I missed your other posts. There are so many on here right now. If you aren't working 50-60 hours per week, are getting plenty of sleep and the efforts you are making with vitamins and nutrition don't get you more energy - you may want to get a little bitty check up with blood work and stuff if you haven't done that in awhile. I am tired a lot too, but I'm 53 years old. But, also - lots of carbs make me very tired. We can't see what you are eating. Why not try keeping track of all your food, posting it here and let's see what can change to help get you some energy - it might help me, too LOL!!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/12/2008:
what are you hoping for in terms of the multivitamin? if you want to get up earlier, the only thing that i've seen that works is going to bed early! haah

sharklover - Thursday Jan 10, 2008
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 185.5

So I watched that "You are what you eat" show today! I liked it, it gave me some good ideas. Man, I wish I had all the knowledge about nutrition that that lady has. If I knew what everything did and why it did it I might do better with me health. Thanks for all the suggestions on my fatigue issues. I think part of it may be that I am not eating all the good nutrition that I should be, but I think another part might be related to some inbalance or poor sleeping or something because I have never had such consistent, long lasting problems with energy before. I think I am going to try taking the B vitamins like Crittermom mentioned. Thanks crittermom! And I should go to the doctor but I have a male doctor for the first time ever and I'm not used to it yet. Its weird. I really do like him, he's a good doctor, but ew, a physical from him? Just something I'll have to get used to I guess. Dad bought me lots of fruit like a requested! yay! Now I just need lots of veggies! Today I had a banana, 10 ritz crackers, and a buttload of fettucini. Not particularly good, and I was eating barely anything all day or I was binging on fettucini. So eventhough my total amounts weren't too bad, the way I ate them was! Live and learn!

Progress as of today: 3.5 lbs lost so far, only 35.5 lbs to go!

workingit2 on 01/10/2008:
That show really is interesting. I wouldn't want to examine poo for a living, however LOL

Have a good evening =)

crategrl on 01/10/2008:
Make sure to only take vitamin B in the morning. I found if I take them even in the late afternoon that I was having trouble sleeping. Have a great day tomorrow!

sharklover - Wednesday Jan 09, 2008
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 185.5

Well, thanks to biscotti I remembered about this site and about how much this site had helped me before. I didn't make very many new years resolutions but one of mine is to journal more. When I first made that resolution I was thinking only about my personal journal at home, but now it occurs to me that this should be included as well. I have been very lazy with my health. I don't know what are the "good foods" to eat and I don't take the time out to prepare them, so instead I've just been eating very little, Its not the wat to go, I know, but its all I've got for now. I was doing great when I was counting calories but I just feel too unorganized to do that now. Maybe some of you have suggestions for one problem I've been encounting. I am always tired! I sleep enough hours of the night, I'm not eating only carbs or bad foods, there are lots of fruits and veggies in my diet as well. But I am just always tired, and its been getting in the way of me exercising. I'll always plan "when I get home from work I'm exercising today!" and then I get home and I'm so fatigued I can barely get myself up. Is there anything that can help me? Something to give me a boost of energy perhaps? Today is so beautiful that I really am going to go take a walk, I can't pass up a warm sunny day like this, and its my day off too, so I have no work to get through first.

I've missed you guys. It was really nice to get back on this and see lots of familiar names! I hope you are all doing well!

Progress as of today: 3.5 lbs lost so far, only 35.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/09/2008:
You know what? I'm always incredibly tired by the time I get home from work too. I think it's something we all face. There are always some form of a quick fix, but for me I always felt way better on the days I didn't feel like doing anything and still did something anyways. I think it all boils down to motivation, so do whatever it takes to make exercise a priority in your life!

workingit2 on 01/09/2008:
Welcome back! You may want to go to the doctor and have a physical and bloodwork just to make sure you aren't deficient in any vitamins. It could also just be stress from the job, mental stress does take a lot out of us. However, walking is a great idea! Sometimes just taking a nice walk will give you an energy boost as it helps to get rid of stress and tension. Sometimes motivation has to be created as we do something. Don't count on motivation being what gets you off the couch..just get off the couch, start walking, and let the motivation catch up lol. Have a great day!

dearerdiarist on 01/09/2008:
I so believe in journaling therapy... all kinds. Some people have gratitude journals, rant journals, logging of events.... maybe as you journal on and read past entries you will see a pattern that would explain your tiredness. Gosh it could be a cycle in your day, physical illness, vitamin deficiency, the blues... Spend a little time in front of the mirror giving yourself a big gigantic "I love you" smile :)

biscottibody59 on 01/09/2008:
Glad to see a new entry! Unless you've got an underactive thyroid--maybe get it checked at some point--you probably just need to start doing something activity-wise. Of course I'm much younger than you, but the way you sound is how I feel when I haven't worked out for days or weeks.

Also you may consider that you have a sleep disorder and aren't sleeping well/restfully. Like if you wake up tired from a night's sleep.

Hope you get back into it--and start to feel more energetic!

biscottibody59 on 01/09/2008:
Also if you're hungry before you plan to work out--eat a little something. A small sandwich, a bowl of high fiber cereal. A peanut butter and jelly sandwich--half--always makes my jog easier if I haven't eaten for a bit.

CritterMom on 01/10/2008:
Get yourself to the doctor to see if there is some physical reason for the lethargy. Also, I find that when I take my "B" vitamins, I feel much more focused and energized.

sharklover - Sunday Aug 26, 2007
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 178.0

Thanks for all your support and good ideas!

I'm getting back on track with my healthy life style. I'm counting calories again (I already made my lunch for tomorrow). I guess my dad wants to try my way now, because the last time I did it he was really impressed with how well it worked. Alright me! I told him he didn't need to do diets and all that nonsense, but I guess I finally prooved it to him.

I think he wants me to count his calories for him though, which is so not happening. He needs to learn to do that. But of course I have no problem helping him.

I've talked to mom just about every day, but of course I was on vacation so it didn't really feel different. Today was my first day back from holiday and I truely expected to see her walk through the door at any moment. That was weird, and sad, but I guess I'll get used to it.

Tomorrow I have work 7am-330pm, then I start class! ah! i haven't taken a class in a year! I hope I still remember all my strategies. I have class from 430-710 and then 720-10pm. Tomorrow is going to be a very loooong day. But my last class is scuba, so I'm kinda excited for that one, as long as I can stay awake for it!

Hopefully I'll be getting back in touch with all of you wonderful people now. I really do intend on getting back on track now, and I think with my dad doing it with me, it will be more interesting. Plus, I need something to throw all my effort into so as to not focus so much on worrying about my mother. Getting back on track with food and exercise seems like it could be perfect for that.

So, here's to the second try!

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 48 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/27/2007:
haha, if ANYONE wanted ME to count their calories, they better not be counting on it! haha! whew! it's crazy enough counting my own...

hollybelle on 08/27/2007:
Hi. Just catching up with your posts since I have been "irregular" on here myself. You are doing the right thing re-focusing your efforts on your healthy lifestyle. There are so many things we cannot change - but we can chose to take care of ourselves so that we are as prepared as we can be to handle whatever else life brings us. Good luck on your efforts - your family is lucky to have a supportive person like you.

sweetpea1977 on 08/30/2007:
Good luck with having your dad on the weightloss journey. You should tell him to log his calories (as well as his exercise and weightloss stats) on fitday.com. Its pretty easy to do and can actually be fun to keep track of everything, especially when you start seeing results!

Hope you are enjoying school. That scuba class sounds awesome!

sweetpea1977 on 09/18/2007:
Just checking in on you since you havent posted in a while. I hope every thing is ok!

biscottibody59 on 01/09/2008:
Was thinking you might pop in for the new year! Hope all's well--update soon!

Take good care of yourself!

sharklover - Monday Aug 13, 2007
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 178.0

So, I've been gaining weight so fast!

I know why. I'm totally an emotional eater. I have had absolutely no will power and no control over my eating recenty. I eat so much that I feel sick, but that doesn't stop me from continuing to eat.

The reason:

Mom is leaving on Friday for Iraq. She's going to be gone for 6 months. My family (including my entire extended family) has never gone through anything remotely similar to this. I'm panicking. My father is afraid that she will like being alone so much that she will not want to return to him. I'm afraid that she will be hurt, or worse, while she is there.

This is one of those times that it is completely obvious that my life will be changing forever from this point on. No matter what the outcome of these next six months, my life will never be the same as it is now.

And I feel like I am facing it alone. Completely alone. MY dad is being the strong one right now, he'll even crack jokes about it. But I'm afraid that once she is finally gone he might break apart. I haven't talked too much with my extended family about it. The have mostly been talking to my Mother to get all the details of her trip. I'm afraid to talk to any of them about it though, because I've never cried in front of them. (I'm one of those women who absolutely hates to cry in front of people, even family). And well, I only have a few friends. I've turned to them more than any one else. I have one friend out of the handful that is actually showing me true support. The others are either unreliable, ignoring the situation, unsupportive, ignorant, or too far away.

I can't go through this alone. I just feel like I'm not going to make it.

But I know I can't run from it either. My mom is going to go on this trip regardless of how I feel. And I guess I wouldn't want to be the one to stop her.

Ugh, anyways, this is my sorry story for the time being. But I just thought I'd put it here so that, I don't know, I guess I need every little speck of support I can get.

And on top of feeling sad, and scared, and angry, I feel gross, and fat, and lazy because I have no control in any aspect of my life right now.

I guess this is the definition of despair.

I'm relaly sorry to bring you guys down. This site is for positive interactions but like I said before.. I need all the support I can get.

Progress as of today: 11 lbs lost so far, only 48 lbs to go!

biscottibody59 on 08/14/2007:
I don't think anyone is going to feel you're bringing them down. I think you have every right to feel the way you do! There aren't many of us who know what this is like for you, but ya' know this is a great place to vent your feelings. You never know who else may be reading and is going through something similar. As for dealing with it--try to keep your routine as much as possible. Try try try to get back to working out--you know it's a great stress reliever--it can only help!

Seems like you mentioned an aunt awhile ago in an entry, I hope she's there for you if it seems like so many in your life aren't right now. I hope your mom comes back safely and finds that she missed you all and all your relationships are stronger come what may!

Take good care of yourself during this time--we'll be here!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/18/2007:
hey, i understand your issue with emotional eating totally without a doubt. i have the same issue. You are 23? i'm 24...turning 25. I always turn to food...it's so crazy.

try to find something that you enjoy...and try your best to turn to it when you get anxious. do you like taking a walk...just take yourself outside...don't think about changing your clothes or how you look ( i tend to do this)...just throw yourself outside and try to walk off your anxiety. maybe walking is not your thing, then bike riding.

maybe the computer is your thing..or reading...the library. maybe strolling around the mall? renting a movie, hanging out with friends...

sweetpea1977 on 08/22/2007:
Im sorry you are going through such a difficult time. Having support while your mom is overseas is very important so if I were you, I'd try joining an online support group designed for people who have family members/friends overseas. Those individuals will truly understand the feelings you are going through. You will be able to express your thoughts without being rediculed or ignored, which may in turn, help you regain control of your weightloss struggles.

Keep us posted on how you're doing. We may not know exactly what you are going through, but you'll always have and outlet to express yourself. Writing your thoughts down is much better than keeping them bottled up.

Take care of yourself!

sharklover - Tuesday Jul 31, 2007
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 172.0

ok, so I didn't count calories today, and I didn't go to the gym.

No gym because its TOM. It seems as though fate, or God, or whatever you want to call it has been helping me out recently though. For instance today I ran into a girl I was hired with. She offered to work out together which is totally awesome because 1. it will give me some motivation to go to the gym and 2. I might be able to make a new friend! So I think next week I will definetly take her up on that offer.

No couting calories because.. well frankly I'm just lazy. I feel ready to eat right and all that, its just all the effort it takes to begin. To get organized, to actually measure out food, and then add up all the calories.

I'm not too worried about it though, because I know I WILL do it, and in the very near future too.

Progress as of today: 17 lbs lost so far, only 42 lbs to go!

sweetpea1977 on 08/01/2007:
Welcome back! I had been wondering what happened to you. Im glad that your job is finally working out for you. Your hours rock!! Take advantage of all that free time you have afterwards!!

Enjoy your workout with your new workout buddy!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 08/02/2007:
sometimes even the calorie counters need a break from counting! Its ok...today's a new day!

sharklover - Monday Jul 30, 2007
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 172.0

Hi all!

I'm back from the dead, or black hole, or wherever it is I have been!

I just switched from my eveing shift to day shift on Sunday. So that means I'm now at my permanent position which will work well for me. I just could not adjust to the evening schedule. I slept all day. Went to work. Came home and at junk food/ midnight meal type food, then went to sleep and slept through the next day. But now! Now I work 7am-3:30pm which means I get up early for work, and when I'm done there is still lots of time in the day to be productive! yay!

Plus I finally got my mom to clean up all her mess in the kitchen which means I can actually spend more than 3 seconds in there now to prepare good foods! double yay!

Now, if only I could get her to clean the adjacent dining room so that I could get into the kitchen without knocking something over, then we'd really be in business!

So, Mom's going to Iraq on August 17th. Sucks, but I've accepted it because this is clearly something she wants to do (regardless of how dumb I think the reasons are). So I'm just going to let it be and not make her life hell before she leaves because I'm mad at her for going. Time to act like an adult I suppose.

I have my vacation at the end of August! and I will be taking a biology class and a scuba class in the fall which will help me on the way to achieving my life goal of studying, promoting the conservation of and swimming with sharks!

So life is back to having a natural balance of good and bad. Hopefully I'm back in business!

I've missed reading about how you all have been doing! I hope all is well with everyone!

Progress as of today: 17 lbs lost so far, only 42 lbs to go!

Horn_Of_Plenty on 07/30/2007:
what an awesome field for a career! wow, swimming with sharks! haha, not for me! but it does sound adventurous! Glad to hear life is going well!

sharklover - Friday Jun 22, 2007
(count calories and exercise)
Weight: 170.0

I'm still alive, and I haven't forgotten about this site and all of you. But I've been doing horribly, well health wise. I'm back to my old ways of eating a giant bowl of ice cream, having chips and dip whenever I want, and not ever exercising. So, as you can imagine my weight has been gradually increasing.

I know I'll turn it all around again, but right now I feel as though my schedule is against me for that. I work odd hours and can't figuer out how to make those odd hours work for me. My schedule will be changing eventually, but I thought it would change in July, and it turns out that July wont work. So I'm just frustrated with myself, and with my schedule.

I just hope I don't gain it all back before I'm ready to knock it out again!

Progress as of today: 19 lbs lost so far, only 40 lbs to go!

weightlossyoyo on 06/22/2007:
Just remember "life style change", it is forever! Learn healthy foods the places you like to go, cooking healthy foods that taste good, and how good exercise feels.

hollybelle on 06/23/2007:
Healthy lifetyle is forever, but it doesn't have to be EVERY day. Just don't have too many of the "old" style days in a row - stop now!

greengirl on 06/23/2007:
Come on Sharklover. Now is the time to pull it all together again. You know you can do it. An odd schedule can be a problem, but you need to work out your calories for the day and when you need to eat, and work out some good meals that fit in. Good luck with that :o) By the way, it's good that you are back here !!

MsKitty on 07/01/2007:
Oh man I am right there with ya. Sigh I am up to 171 lbs again. Sigh... I can't stay away from that icecream either... but it doesnt help that Tyler my BF is such a bad icecream influance...its so hard to say no when the ones you love are stuffing their faces full of sweet goodness....*licks lips...RUNS OFF CRYING!!!!* Lets come back together!!!

sweetpea1977 on 07/11/2007:
I totally agree with weightlossyoyo and greengirl. They know what they are talking about. Anyway, I hope things work out for you soon! KIT!

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