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view thinnside40 bio page
thinnside40 - Tuesday Feb 03, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

Comes to be I HAVE A COLD!.... Tadum, what a suprise huh?!?!?!?.... I do feel better this morning..It has settled in my chest... Head pressure is gone & coughing is the annoyance.

Sitting in the living room last night afer the boys went home, I started re-arranging furniture, etc.... Looks nicer.. Christmas brings chaos in arrangements, as room is limited.... Couldn't take it anymore... Much better now.....

I didn't eat all that great yesterday...Cup-O-Soup didn't get eaten, cause the sodium content was someting I couldn't see myself consuming... 8 oz = over 500 mg....I ate the wrong foods though.... Today has started off better...

Paper filing,moving the computer desk & laundry/dishes are tasks at hand, besides babysitting... BL tonight.. I missed it last Tuesday, in the chaos of the week's beginning.. I can't believe it has been a week today already I was SO BAD with stress/emotion... Have accomplished a lot in ironing things out this last week and I'm not sure I can account for each day, as they all blended together..... Gazelle/Bike will be used tonight when I watch t.v.... My body is in total disarray with me for sure at this point of neglegence in exercise/activity.... Time to take charge again...


Cheerios, Banana & SFSM Coffee

Yogurt & a few Almonds


Oh goodness gracious me oh my!!!!!!!.. I moved the computer/desk, arranged a table for the kids to do homework. Each a lamp at their end.. Have the electric pencil sharpener plugged in, pencils sharpened in a holder & pens in a holder too... Pretty red/white checkered tablecloth on the table.... The kids are going to be so suprised.. I have been wanting to do this for so long and they wanting me to.... SUPRISE!!!.... I didn't even ruin or break anything with the computer..It's working...Ah! The brothers are the only ones here again today... They are sleeping..Ryder has another behavioural assessment appointment this afternoon and needs his rest... He had a horrible morning before coming to my house... The baby was crying and mom was in another room getting him a bottle...Big brother started slapping him to try & make him stop crying... Which of course, none of us do... He is just a very frustrated child, can't stand noise of any kind and I PRAY they can help him SOON...... and his divorced parents to meet eye/eye on his diagnosis.....Anyways, I'm able to dust (cough cough choke)... and have to mop a floor before eating dinner.... The sun is shining, curtains all pulled open and I'm loving it!!!!!! Smells like vanilla in here.. I have some Home Interior strong foofoo smell of "vanilla cone" candles burning... MMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!!!  Now that I've sat down to check the computer's working or not... I'm sleepy all of a sudden.... Uh Oh! Up & At Um'!

PBSF on Healthy Way Bread...Apple



H2o = No less than 120 oz.

MUCH Love ~ Happiness ~ Success to YOU!

Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

mama_nurse on 02/03/2009:
hope you have a wonderful day!!! :) feel better soon xo

hopinforachange on 02/03/2009:
I hope that you get over the cold soon. Have a great day! :)

WorkingMom on 02/03/2009:
Thank you! Yeah, I didn't realize that the username WorkingMom was available until I had already created WrkgMom, so.......... Anyway, I hope you get over the cold soon. Seems to definitely be going around....

hollybelle on 02/03/2009:
Thank you for your message. If is SO NICE to know I am not forgotten. I haven't been on the site in so long. 1/24 to be exact. I have been working long hours at both jobs and am about toast. Excuse the food reference. Sorry to hear you are ill. I had pneumonia that began like that in december. If it is just starting and is in your chest - can you take Mucinex? Daughter has now and is taking sudafed (non-drying formula) and 1/2 extra strength mucinex and is doing OK. The Sudafed has the same med as Mucinex so we cut the Extra Strength Mucinex in 1/2 to combin them. We have snow and ice hre in KY - no biggie to you, I know, but the ice is awful for us - paralyzes us. There are still 200k+ people in the state without power. We have been lucky in that we haven't lost power. The Western part of the state is devastated. I've been doing OK on eating. Holding weight steady. Would like to lose 10-15 lbs, but just too unfocused on that right now. God Bless.....

glycrina on 02/03/2009:
Is it okay to exercise when you are sick? Just wondering, I honestly don't know.

skinnyjeans on 02/03/2009:
Thank you so much for the nice comments. I hope you are feeling better soon and good luck with your excercise goals!

mcwoo40 on 02/03/2009:
Hiya Thin,just catching up with you.I'm so sorry to hear about you mum,is'nt life so cruel sometimes.I know you will keep positive but stress always keeps me in the kitchen raiding the cupboards that's where i'm going wrong!!!DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES LEAVE DD.I have thought it plenty of times but always came back for more.I always seem to do better when i am posting regular and getting encouraging comments from you all.I hope you don't have this cold too long.It's awful when you don't feel 100% and you still have to carry on.These past few weeks have been like that,these bp tabs make you feel sleepy.Keep your chin up,as we say here means stay happy in a round about way,speak soon Julie

loveray on 02/03/2009:
feel better honey. xoxo

mama_nurse on 02/03/2009:
gosh you have been busy today ~ productive days always feel so good at night when you look back n all you've accomplished! I've had a BUSY BUSY day too! SIGH! HUGS

WI3 on 02/03/2009:
You accomplished a lot today! Way to go!

happymommy2girl on 02/03/2009:
Great day...think of all the calories you must have burned moving all the stuff! Sorry that the stress has been so high, glad that things are starting to iron themselves out a little. Hope you feel better real soon!

selina on 02/04/2009:
Hi Thin! It's amazing how much energy you have even with a COLD! Hope you are having a good morning/dy/evening whenever you read this. Hugs!

panda22 on 02/04/2009:
Glad you are feeling better! =D. LOL because I absolutely LOVE re-arranging the furniture in my house! lol. Actually I always have enjoyed it since I was little. I used to get yelled at by my dad because every other weekend he'd hear my dragging my dressers across my room because I'd gotten bored of how everything was arranged! That just brought back memories as I've definitely carried that habit on into adulthood. =) Hope today is another nice one for you!

thinnside40 - Monday Feb 02, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

I have bypassed and nearly had, but haven't come down with a full blown cold yet this season.... Not sure if I can fight off what is happening this morning or not..My ears are plugged, throat is sore/scratchy, coughing, nose is plugged, watery eyes and face is flushed feeling. Just that feeling of a cold coming on...... The 3 boys had colds last week, so I shouldn't be suprised... My hands are rough from washing them so much, but sometimes just can't escape the germs.... Cup-o-Soup chicken style will be on the menu somewhere today.....

I'm in good spirits & looking for a good day, despite feeling "under the weather".... Thinking of sipping on hot tea/honey... Attempting to get on the Gazelle & bike at some point today.... Just a good day overall.....

Boys just arrived..Baby is asleep...The other is already settling in for a snooze...... Time to get Meg up....Then, get us both some breakfast..... I have plenty to do today, with being gone 90% of the weekend......


Menu & Activities

7:15 ~ Banana, Coffee

8:15 ~ Healthy Way Toast & Oatmeal







H2o = No less than 120 oz.

Much Love, Happiness & Success to YOU!

Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

selina on 02/02/2009:
I hope you feel better soon... HUGS...

hopinforachange on 02/02/2009:
Feel better soon. I am glad to see you are in a good mood even though you aren't feeling the best right now. Take care. :)

mama_nurse on 02/02/2009:
Hope you feel better soon~ have a good day!

panda22 on 02/02/2009:
Sorry to hear about the cold! It seems no matter how many precautions we take they just sneak up on us! Hope you feel better soon and get some warm soup and tea in your tummy! =D have a great evening!

WI3 on 02/03/2009:
Thank you for that beautiful message you left me. It touched my heart and soul and you are so correct. And, in fact, I did think about the hospice patients and how fortunate I am to be alive and how wonderful it is to not hear the words 'cancer' or 'six months to live' or 'no hope'. Today I am feeling much better spirits and while still a little wobbly, scared and unsure, have given my burden to the Lord and prayed for strength and wisdom to do what is best. I hope you are feeling better, and I like that picture on this message. It is really comforting looking. God bless you and I hope you feel much better today.

omahagrl on 02/03/2009:
I read your entries from the weekend and quiting DD is not an option as I look forward to reading your entries and hearing your words of support. However, sometimes if we need a break from whatever it is take it. You have so much going on in your life right now that something has to take a back seat so don't be afraid of taking care of Jerri! I am trying to make some decisions on business and personal and how I get better control. I wish there was a magic 8 ball to let me know the path but I am the only one that can make those steps. You have accomplished so much in the past year and I know you are proud of what you have become. Take care, get healthy and just think in a few more weeks we can both starting taking more walks outside.

thinnside40 - Sunday Feb 01, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

The snooze button must of pushed itself this morning, cause I am running soooooooooooo late.... Headed to get ready for church & swallow a bite for breakfast.....

Looking to have a good day..... No plans for the Super Bowl & I don't think there is church service tonight..... Have a wonderful day.....

English Muffin, Coffee

Baked Potato (smallest they had) dab sour cream, smidge of cheese, spoon of chili & a spice cupcake my momma brought to me.....

There is church tonight afterall... I was asked to play piano for this sevice, cause the other 2 players are sick.... I want to stay home now, but the other 3 of my family are bent on going to my parent's house to watch what of the ballgame can be fit in before heading back to church.... So, I'm draggin my feet.... nor screaming yet.... Figured I might just crawl up on my mom's bed & lay down with her for a bit while she takes her Sunday nap..... The guys will just be snoring out in the recliners anyway.... Not alota football watchin (it's an excuse).... Ha! I could fall asleep right now personally... But, I guess time to put the doggies in their beds and head out...

Banana & D.W.C. Pepsi

I'm toast!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cat's out of the bag now that I play piano... Most of the people @ church tonight had no idea I played (haven't been going there but 3 months, but the song leader & I have known each toher for years... I'd still be "secret" if it  wasn't for that..)..... Ben & I were the only instruments playing... I enjoyed playing with him as much as everybody seemed to enjoy us...... It was a "favorite hymn" song service.... Very much like I remember church being before all the radio songs started taking over..... I LOVE hymns!!!!!!!!!!!!!.... Anyways, before all that we did go to my parent's for a bit... Mom was laying down as I thought she would be... But, started to get up when she knew we were there... Dad had been after her to "get up" cause "company" was coming..Which she corrected him & said "THEY AIN'T company.... Their OUR FAMILY!!!!!!"... He sat down and we snuck off to the bedroom... hehehehehehe.. His pillow now smells like my wild musk, which he says smells like "fly spray".... Geeze!!!!!!!!! what a pill!!!! ... Felt good to just lay there like a little girl and giggle with mom about "sneaking"...Til he came to the hallway to see what we were doing... I told her "busted" and we covered our heads... To that we heard a "well, I'll be dad burned... I never saw such the like...Yer pitiful!"... Now, I am so THANKFUL that it was insisted we go, even if it was only for 1. 5 hours.... My heart is full of joy with that laughter we had & the hymn singing in church... I feel this is the first day of this coming week to step off on a much better foot than last Monday, ending with Friday's news..... One day @ a time....


Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

grumpy on 02/01/2009:
Just wanted to drop you a sunday kiss. xoxo

mama_nurse on 02/01/2009:
Happy Sunday!

Donkey on 02/01/2009:
Oh yessss, I pushed the snooze button too! Very unlike me, but oh well...

Maria* on 02/01/2009:
Well, since you're not having church tonite, come on over and go with us!

Maria* on 02/01/2009:
Hope you get some rest before going back to church...I know they will enjoy your piano playing. Hope you have a good visit w your Mom and Dad. We're fixing to leave here...take care....'talk' to ya later! (smile!)

mama_nurse on 02/01/2009:
Yes! Thanks to you ~ I love the ticker! I'm going to make those for every small goal... :) Have a great afternoon ~

panda22 on 02/01/2009:
Hey Thin, I just wanted to stop by and send some **hugs** your way. I know you are going through a lot, and I'm so sorry to hear about your mom. That is a rough thing to deal with for both the person with it and the family. You are an amazing strong person and I know you will be there for your mom and dad through this. It sounds like you all will be there to support your mother and each other. I am praying for her that the treatments work, and praying for your family as well. Hang in there Thin! Sometimes you do need to just push the snooze button and relax to relieve some stress. I hope that you have a nice relaxing evening, though I know you don't want to go out! I'm glad you decided to stay with DD, I think it's a good place to come for support and just to vent sometimes! We are all here for you! <3 goodnight, See you tomorrow!

loveray on 02/01/2009:
its so sweet of you for taking over on a night like this- consider it your good deed for the week- even though you are constantly thoughtful!! i love you and hope you had a great weekend. xoxo

happymommy2girl on 02/01/2009:
sorry to hear you are going thru a rough time (I still have to go back & catch up), but know that you and your family are in my prayers! Glad you had some time with your family today, they can really help pump up your low times. Good luck on your week this week.

mama_nurse on 02/01/2009:
glad you had a great time with your mom & at church!!! i can sense that your spirits are lifted and i'm so happy for you! have a wonderful night.....until tomorrow....night!

selina on 02/02/2009:
Awww.... what a wonderful time you had at church and your mom... This is a great start of a week!

panda22 on 02/02/2009:
I'm so happy that you had a great time at church and especially with your mom! I love laying and talking with mine too =) It reminds me of being a little girl and sleeping in the big bed when our dad was away on military trips. Awww that made me tear up a little. I just love to read things like that, it warms my heart! Have a great day today Thin! *hugs*

thinnside40 - Saturday Jan 31, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

I had seriously contemplated being absent from DD for a bit.... Awaking this morning on the couch.. I was too tired to get up & go to bed each time I woke last night...Gave up & went to bed @ 5:30 a.m., then lay there 1.5 hours unable to slumber.... Many things were consuming my thoughts....DD being one of them... Thinking I should devote every free moment to getting my house in total order and begin boxing things up that we don't really need, etc.... In the event we may have to sell/move within the next 1-2 years it would be all done and less work @ that time... STOP!!!! I realized that I am trying to compensate my $$$$ trouble & my mom's diagnosis as feeling I need to be stripped of all my thing unneccessary to live other than my family & basics....Basicaaly puncishing myself I guess...  It is good to bring oneself back to a level of neccessity and not "want".... But whatever it is I feel can't be cured by selling off my "things".... I have taken steps in cutting back in areas and paid off many things that will bring much more savings to the pocketbook... To sell possessions that should be heirlooms to our children would be a regret one day.... I collect depression glass, hand-pieced quilts & things of that nature... Yard Sales, Thrift Shops... I love treasure hunting......

To leave DD, even for a bit would be detramental to my healthy lifestyle journey... I can see once everything settles down me skyrocketing to 237+ in no time, if I don't keep in check.... Scale said 200 this morning.. I ate 2 bowls of meatless spaghetti last night & 3 cinnamon grahams with milk really late last night.... Before that was bare minimum (coffee w/ milk SF flavoring & PBJ San.  )after breakfast..... We went to play BINGO @ Meg's school for an hour... Prizes were books....Cards didn't cost anything.... Got there a bit late, cause I had troubles cashing my cashier's check @ the bank ...That will be addressed when I go back to the branch I bank at... Let's just say they wouldn't approve our account(s) to cash that check, because we didn't have that amount to back it up in the event it was "no good".... I had called ahead of time to give them my #'s & make sure I WOULD NOT have troubles when I came in... "NO TROUBLE, COME ON IN" was what I was told over the phone. I failed to get that person's name & it bit me in the undies.... They FINALLY called the issuing bank to verify the check had been issued.. Mind you there are safety features printed all over the cashier's check, etc.... Plus, I have banked with them for 22 years.. I know I have said tha before, but it frosted me to be treated like someone coming in off the street in rags.... Which, I wish I could give this money to one of those people to be truthful....

Just has not been a good week in it's moments, but I feel it is all happening for a reason.... Actually going back to November... #1-Church troubles ~ Had we not had things happen that the Lord lead us to leave, then the moment my mom looked me right in the eye and said  "you never did play the piano..did you?" would have NEVER happened when it did, for us to realize exactly HOW BAD her memory was sooner than later (I have played piano since I was 5 years old)..We had to be @ this church where my paren'ts attend @ that moment to have that happen....#2 - Debt ~ My heart & gut feeling is our financial snafoo that begun the week was preemptive of the weeks ending... I honestly feel that by this lawsuit, caused by debt has been something to push us to a point of getting out from "ALL DEBT", even though we didn't have to out of neccessity...Just 1 account..We decided to ask for enough to get rid of it all though(before we knew mom's diagnosis,  mind you).........Now, come to the end of the week and here is where I feel/believe the actual reason for all of this is... To clear us of any strings other than mortgage in the event we need to move within the next 2-5 years... Selling our house possibly.. That wouldn't be possible with the debts we had..... Our allegiance is with our family as a whole, not just us 4, but ALL of us... My dad will not be able to care for my mom 100% through her sickness & we certainly living 12 miles away aren't close enough in the time of emergency or reprieve for dad.... Nursing home will not be, but a very last resort if the Lord tarries His return..... Dad already takes care of his 90 year old mother's place, plus their own and is an avid fisherman.... He has health issues & I could go on & on.

I won't go any further... I just know that staying @ DD is the right thing to do "for me" in my journey to healthy living.......All the things that are going on, no matter how bad they may seem cannot come close to what other's may be going through and they are no where near as fortunate as we are.... In our Faith, in our Love & in our Peace in time of storm & seasons is the calm of our Father's hand on us. We just have to accept & allow Him to have 100% control of ALL things.

Menu & Activities

No clue @ this moment, but will try to get things in order A.S.A.P.


Huhummmmmm.... I figured it all out for today... I'm NOT going to list what I've eaten (or will I???? hmmmm still thinkin)..... HAHAHA.  I ate modest @ breakfast...Then headed out to "work day" @ church, which I DID NOT cook for this time...I spent enough time/money on taco soup & scratch cake last weekend when the carpet wasn't laid in time, so the work ended before dinnertime......... Got done working & went  to grab a few groceries... Something GRABBED ME too (comes in a foil wrapper covered with a brown paper wrapper and says "HERSHEY'S w/ Almonds  ~ regular size, not KING ...)...... Followed by popcorn & Diet Pepsi.... Got home to have 1 of each thing in the cupboard that had chocolate attatched, plus a spicy treat... Lil' Debbie's... 1 Valentine Cupcake & 1 Swiss Roll ( 2 in each pack).....Then shared a Gingerbread PopTart pack with Meg..... I had ham sandwich bit later...... Actually I'm not fearful of this eating today.... I have been so worked up all week, giving a lack of appetite.... I will see repercution a bit I'm sure from sugar, but I'm not much of a sweet eater and giving to this temptation isn't something that I have had difficulties with in my unhealthy eating...I'm more of a carboholic with chips, breads, etc........ Chocolate HIT today and "the dread" for this month isn't far behind........ So with that I will say I have fixed a pot of potato soup that's simmering.... Ben went to a friend's house to have a soft air-gun war after working...Paul picked him up & took him to music...Meg & I have been buddies pretty much of the day and the 4 of us "passing" each other all day long....Meg slept in, so we left to work later than the "men"..... .... We will eat soup & watch a movie as soon as we are under 1 roof and all in our jammies......... I did get to see my momma today... She was cleaning the music room @ church, but she kept tossing all the music in the garbage thinking it was "garbage".... I just went behind her when she left the room and put it back on the shelf.... I have told my family that we are going to have to take turns to "buddy up" with her for a while until we know exactly her status for a given day were together.... Bless her heart, I can't imagine how she must be confused right now.. Knowing she has this disease, but can't do a thing about it...She does tell us..."I can't help it, I didn't ask to have it.. I will do the best I can as long as I can, living one day @ a time".... BIG SMILE fuzzies came over me when I heard her say that....

Baked potato feed tomorrow @ church.... I'm going to be on potato overload.... unless I take a salad... I am leaning towards that plan.....

Time for an ottoman, blanket, magazine & H2o....... See ya 'morrow!


Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

WI3 on 01/31/2009:
Your testimony is a blessing to me. Please know that through your struggles, your determination to remain true to God and your faith...you have been a source of inspiration, renewal of faith, hope and strength for me. If this is the reason that DD was on your heart, then I give thanks to Him for making it possible. If I could find a church with folks like you attending, I would likely go more often. You are not perfect but you are a perfect example of walking in faith, and having the hope in God that He will make things possible. For that reason, you should not beat yourself up or punish yourself. One of the blessings and gifts that God has brought into my life, was you. And he has blessed us both with the ability and strength to continue moving forward to take care of ourselves so that we don't become a burden physically to our loved ones either now, or later. It is our opportunity to take care of our personal 'house' and keep order in the midst of chaos, giving all thanks to Him.

I wish you peace. And thank you.

mama_nurse on 01/31/2009:
I'm glad you realized the importance of staying on DD for YOU!!! Your entries are always inspirational and I look forward to reading them....I hope you have a wonderful day...Sometimes, in moments such as those you are currently having, we just need to "BE STILL AND KNOW THAT I AM GOD". :) Hugs

WI3 on 01/31/2009:
And I am sorry to hear about your mom. I will say a prayer for her, and for your family that you continue to look to Him for strength and blessings in the middle of your storms.

hopinforachange on 01/31/2009:
I am also glad that you have decided to stay on DD. Reading your entries inspries me. You will get through all this. Keep the faith. Take care.

selina on 01/31/2009:
I was also considering leaving DD but this is too much fun to quit, hehe. Joking aside, I find that DD does help me with my program, so I shall linger... I'm glad you decided to stay, too.

Donkey on 01/31/2009:
I am SO_GLAD that you are not leaving DD. I really enjoy reading about your journey. I'm sorry things are difficult right now. I want you to know that I for one appreciate your candor, and please feel free to comment honestly on my diary. I know that what you say is meant with encouragement and care. After all, if you did not care, you would not bother to comment, right?

Maria* on 01/31/2009:
What a sweet Daughter you are...not saying anything to your Mom...just waiting and putting the music back on the shelves...She was trying her best, I know...

Hope you have a restful, relaxing nite.

Maria* on 01/31/2009:
She just went in the hospital last week.....We had another one that was in the hospital a good while back (last year, I think) that has improved immensely and is back in church. Thanks for asking...and you are right what you said. Hope you and yours have a good nite. (smile)

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/31/2009:
hi. sorry to hear your week has left you a little upset, stressed, etc. i think that the state of this country and all of its effects are trickling down on us. don't let these little things wreck your diet. and i don't believe you ever do as most of your indulging is during social situations which I KNOW is better than diong it alone (take it from a binge eating finatic like myself). you are diong well.

don't be AFRAID to stay below 200. there's NO REASON you can't do it. you know what to do. you can let the weight go. i know you can.

mama_nurse on 01/31/2009:
thanks for your comment~ hope you and your family have an amazing movie night! i LOVE movie nights (& i love potato soup too, yummmmmm). sounds like you had a pretty good day ~ glad to hear!! hope you sleep tight ~ talk to you tomorrow:) hugs**

biscottibody59 on 01/31/2009:
RYC: Thanks for the comment and your clever take on my endnote--no, my dog's only about 25#, but she is very strong and could easily pull probably 5 times her wt, so I'm sure she could pull me around on ice--though I'm sure it would look pretty funny!

thinnside40 - Friday Jan 30, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5


Today will be a day of finally clearing off my kitchen table of papers, papers & more papers. Praying that the boys all get picked up before 5:00 (doubtful, but hopeful).... When I went to the bank last night, the teller told me they couldn't cash my cashier's check..I would have to go to the Main Branch in town... They are limited on "cash" and didn't have that much (ya right).. They are a bank for crying out loud and if they don't have what I needed, ummm it's pretty sad..I am figuring they just didn't want to get in the vault, beings as it was 5:45 (6:00 closing time)... I got there at the time I could, can't help it.. I've banked with them for 22 years.... Anyways I'll mention something to the one's in town about it and just ask if that was the case (not enough $$). Bank robbers could of gotten more than I was asking for if it would of been a hold-up... Ha Ha Ha.. I say that nicely!

Eating has been sufficient, but must get back to the regularity of my plan and hope that I can begin that before the weekend is out.... Just been so busy, emotional, tired, lifeless, empty, headachy, overwhelmed, etc all balled up into one HUGE ballsince Monday... I feel some of the air leaking out. It is beginning to feel a bit more relaxed... Whew. I'll NEVER be normal by any means, but it will feel good to get back to "my" normal anyway. 

My mom gets her brain MRI results @ 9:45 today... She has argued with me over things this week, like what day of the week it is, etc.... This test result is a BIG answer for us all today. She is becoming very outspoken in public and asking outlandish questions... People look at her like "J" what is the matter with you? You know these things.. So, as I said this answer today is needed, so we know how to inform people if necessary, especially if this problem is not reversable or what have you to help... Enough of my troubles & woes... Off to eat breakfast and help Meg get ready for school... The 2 boys are sleeping and the 1 is staying here instead of going to pre-school..His asthma is too bad today.... I have a feeling this day is going to be a looooong one.


Oatmeal,1/2 Banana, English Muffin, Coffee

dream came true that I had earlier this week... My dad just called and said that mom has Dimentia/Alzheimer's... My dad is such a strong person, but sounded so fragile and IS NOT one to ask for help til it is almost too late and he feels he has no other option. About like me when I asked him for $$$ on Monday...Runs in the blood I guess..... ... Our fear is that mom will become secluded and give up now she knows facts.... She has always been a people person, but lately she just is so quiet at times she would be so jovial.... She will be put on a transdermal patch at first and if that doesn't work, then they will go with pills....I am not sure really how I am going to deal with this afer shock is over... Had a feeling, but just not like "knowing" 100%..... What a week this has been... Things sure can be put into perspective in a hurry, but be so scattered at the same time... Falling back on believing there is a time & reason for ALL things and I will not be dealt more than I can handle as long as I rely 100% upon the Almighty Father.... I HAVE to believe that! Now I'm not hungry again... I want to puke, but don't have anything to puke up... TMI..Sorry!...



Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

mama_nurse on 01/30/2009:
Have a wonderful day ~ hope the boys leave early enough for you to do what you need to do! **hugs

hopinforachange on 01/30/2009:
I hope that you have a good day. Hope it flies by for you. :)

mama_nurse on 01/30/2009:
I'm so conflicted with how many calories I should be eating at this weight to healthily lose weight.....UGHHHH! Any suggestions?

mcwoo40 on 01/30/2009:
Hiya Thin,where did you get that picture of me from, it's the spitting image!!!I hope the result from the scan is ok.The next time i go to the docs i think i will request a brain scan.It's worrying me with all these headaches i'm getting,the trouble is you have to wait ages here for appts to come through.I'll speak again soon,Julie

glycrina on 01/30/2009:
I suppose I will end up watching the Superbowl . . . since our Eagles were eliminated two weeks ago, football really doesn't matter much anymore.

selina on 01/30/2009:
Awww... the baby elephant in the Jungle Cruise ride in Disneyland.... It makes me happy every time I see that baby elephant....

I hope you'll have a wonderful weekend!

Maria* on 01/30/2009:
Jerri, so sorry about your Mom. Will be praying for you and your family. You have been going through a LOT this week but it is the Lord that carries us...that where the Footprints come in in that poem. Where the Lord was asked why there was only one set at those times someone went through the most and He said, "My child, I would NEVER leave you nor forsake you! It was during those times that I was carrying you." Hang in there and take extra good care of yourself. (((hugs)))

omahagrl on 01/30/2009:
I am so sorry to hear about your mom. You have had one hell of a week sister. You need to take care of you even though things are crazy and sad. I am about to have my cup of tea and will take time to bring good wishes and better days your way. Have some tea, hug your children and hubby and count the wonderful blessings that have found their way into your life. All my love sweetie!

selina on 01/31/2009:
Hi Thin, I am so sorry to hear about your mom, especially because she is still so young... I do have a father (92 y.o.) who has developed dementia/Alzheimer in the past 5 years or so, so I can relate to your pain. Hang in there, I know you'll be on top of the situation along with your dad and pursue every possible medical help to make her feel better and cope with the developping situation. Also, you'll also need a lot of PATIENCE. They do forget everything and it's difficult for the healthy people around to understand the fears that go through their minds because of their debilitating state. Everybody (the patient and the care giver alike) react in different ways, but one thing is clear - they need all the love you can give them. Hang in there. Big, warm hugs to you!

mama_nurse on 01/31/2009:
I am SOOOOO sorry to hear about your Mom! Gosh, I know this must be an extremely emotional/trying time for your family and yourself....Just know that you are in my thoughts 'n prayers....be blessed!! HUGS TO YOU!!!!

biscottibody59 on 01/31/2009:
Rough for you all, especially your mother! Take good care of yourself thinnie!

thinnside40 - Thursday Jan 29, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

I didn't update with dinner, etc yesterday...So I had a tuna sandwich and a fruit that I can't remember which one it was....Then not until after church (8:30) and after running an errand did I eat anything else...I had depositied my "Tayt paycheck" and told the family I would treat to the last eating out for a while. Ben said "ya, now it's going to be only once a month or every 2 months-darn!" But, it had came to be we have been doing that, he just hasn't been paying attention to passed time.. I ate a burger, fries & drank a diet Pepsi, then a Cherry Cutie Pie (they are so cute).....Anyways, about 2 a.m. I awoke with horrible taste in my mouth... I said to hubby "I don't like hamburgers anymore".... Now, for me to say that is HUGE.. Burgers are (were) my favorite... I am not sure the next time I may eat one, but the last 2 times I have just weren't as good as I remember them being...They were from my 2 favorite places too.... When I got up 1.5 hours early this morning, the first thing I told myself & hubby again was "I don't like burgers anymore".... I didn't go to bed immediately after eating, cause I know my AF would not of treated me well, but this "hamburger hang-over" is something different and I don't like it... ICK! So I guess I can say that the healthy lifestyle definitley has changed my "love" for something that I never thought I would ever give up...... I am finding out this weeks lesson... "never say never".. It is hitting home too much!

At prayer meeting last night, the pastor brought a devotion on being thankful to God when we are going through tough times and to not feel guilty when our needs are met, no matter the situation... Just thank the Lord & smile.... If He answers, it was meant to be.... Whew, I honestly believe that God laid that on that man's heart because He knew I (and my parent's) needed it...... My parent's sitting in front of me and dad nodding his head "yes" several times in agreeance... I knew what was going through his heart & mind, as well as he did mine....Before meeting started he said "sissy" and then put his Bible out for me to see an envelope barely sticking out from his Bible cover..It had my name on it (he has beautiful handwriting)... Just to see my name & know what was in there brought feelings undescribeable.... Not shame, nor guilt...It was that thankfulness, now give way this morning to sheer overwhelment that all I had to do was ask.... In my heart I felt their help would be provided, but I was praying that God would lead them to give me the right answer,according to His will, not their automatic knee-jerk reaction as parent's..... My dad is a fervent prayer warrior & studies his Bible so much.... He is a loving man,but also sticks to his guns when it comes to principles, etc...If he ever said no, you didn't ask again by grab.... I think my overwhelment isn't the fact that my prayer was answered, but the respect I have for my dad (and mom), causes my heart to ache for them in my time of need.... No strings attatched to this help they have given. I asked, they extended their hand, I accept it and that should be the end.. That is the hard part is the acceptance... Sure it gets me out of a bind, but to have my dad act as Jesus does in all a person has to do is ask and if HE sees fit that it is meant to be or it is the right time and it is a true desire of one's heart  that is right. Not self-serving to just get what you want at that time, He gives it from His heart.. NO strings attatched.. He gave His SON (not a loan) that all may have eternal life... It just takes acceptance on us human's parts, cause He asks nothing more... John 3:16 is this testimony.... I'm not preaching, nor pushing what I feel for you to agree or not, it is simply how I live my life..It is who I am....... My tears this day are of "joy & thankfulness" and nothing else... I must move on and not "hang on" to the wrong things as the devil will take over my thoughts and try to get me to feel guilt & shame.. That won't do anybody any good, especially me and if my parent's catch me wallowing or continuing to beat myself up, they will take more of a burden in wondering if I'll be o.k.....

Some changes are taking place under our roof.....They will be uncomfortable for a bit, about like changing from unhealthy to healthy eating & exercise is in the beginning, but in the end it will be worth it......... I down-graded our satellite package, cancelling our "term" insurance policies that are increasing by $90/mo. come March because they have reached their "term"..... Talking as a family about needs vs. wants... Being pretty strict with that already, but REALLY paying attention to what we may consider "luxuries", confusing that with the word "need" tends to creep in.... Things are only going to get rougher in the economy, best train ourselves now... I already do stock a bit up in dry/canned goods/basic needs each time I grocery shop... I remember in the late 70's my parent's doing the same thing and I thought for sure we were going to turn into beans/cornbread if we ate ALL that they had stocked up on...... Even at that, we ate a lot of those things no matter the economy.... cornbread & buttermilk is THE BEST!... Change is taking place worldwide and it isn't all due to the new president, just the way things are changing......People I think are just "waking up" to the changes that have taken place already or have been putting on the back burner for so long in denial....No ignoring it anymore, it has become something that we have to deal with as it is on our front doorstep....

Boys will be here anytime, I'm still in my jammies, mascara smeared ( I just shouldn't wear any for a few days- hehehehehehe) and need to rustle Meg's feathers.... I have written enough as it is, so I'll leave it be and get my day rolling....

Menu & Activities

WGF Muffin, Banana, Coffee (285)

Orange (80) 365

PBJ (Healthy Way Toast) (300) 665

I have the house toasty warm and am soooooooo sleepy....... Been reading up on expired converter box coupons.. No luck!... Our's expired & I read today that the passing of an extension was squished yesterday... The boxes have been in great demand & out of stock, so cards are expiring before redeemed..... Whoops!

I have 1 company to call still, but can't get any answers to find out "who" to call for that answer........ Each sending me to the contract "buy out".. It's in limbo.... I don't like that!.... Feel that them not having their duckies in a row, it is a way of refusing payment if I want to pay "now"... Caught with their shorts down for a change (sorry)....I have to do some more searching to see my rights in such case.... I owe, I know, but to who???????? Ugh..... I guess they have waited ON ME long enough...fair trade...I said "I  guess"..I have'nt convinced myself of that yet....

Baby is waking and I have to stop my breaktime before my face starts hitting the keyboard & all you see is mgnfasghwuawup9q3rq3y38ygah. I am soooooooooooooooo sleeeeeeeeeeepy..... (yawn)

Yogurt (80) 745

The brother's momma works in the courthouse.... I asked her about the "process server" that dropped  the papers on the front porch Monday... Tayt's dad had mentioned to his wife that he felt sorry for me, cause the "county worker" kept yelling my name & asking if I was who he was looking for and obnoxious.....I asked why he thought it was a county person...#1- He identified himself with Superior Court...#2 - Tayt's dad said there was a "county magnet" on the car door... Hmmmmm, I didn't see that!.... Anyways, she said for him to say anything about someone's behaviour had to of made an impression upon him for him to even talk about it.... So, got me to thinking.... I have found out that the courts don't have 'servers' (which I didn't think they did)..They use sherriffs for summons...and these papers aren't legit (which I didn't think they were either- they don't have a case# on them).... Come to be the courthouse here deals with these attorney's retained by the creditor A LOT, due to their poor business tactics..... Aha.... So I'm going to push for that $85 process fee to be dismissed...... I do not believe it was legal in any shape, form or fashion... He identified himself with "county" twice by saying he was with the county & having the magnet on his door stating the fact he was, when he wasn't!...... I'm not one to roll over if I think I am being thought of as a "sap" and don't do my homework when it comes to what is expected of me...... I do my homework and question EVERYTHING and then get it ALL in writing before I go any further.... Now the bug is in a county employees ear, she said she is going to find out who this dude was..... Most process servers are friends of hers and she didn't seem to recognize the description that I gave her of him.... hmmmmmm...... Very interesting! Shall see what happens and deal with this on a local level, as the $85 was in the settlement agreement being mailed already....

I'm now off the clock and going to the bank... See ya tomorrow!.


Oatmeal, Scrambled Egg Whites,1/2 Avocado,Tomato (340) 1,085

Apple (80) 1,165

H2o = No less than 120 oz.

Wishing YOU..Much Love, Happiness & Success!

Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

skinnyjeans on 01/29/2009:
I hope you have a nice day, (cherry) cutie pie! ;)

glycrina on 01/29/2009:
You are so right; I have just "spent" money without really thinking about it and now I am really thinking about the difference between "want" and "need", it is amazing how little I "need" and how much I just tell myself I need.

Maria* on 01/29/2009:
What a wonderful family you have! So happy for ya! Have a blessed day...fixing to get ready and go get Mom and take her out today!!! SMILE!!!

starfish on 01/29/2009:
Hello and *hugs* to you :-)

hopinforachange on 01/29/2009:
Just wanted to say hello. I hope that you are having a good day today. Take care.

mama_nurse on 01/29/2009:
Hello ~ wanted to say Happy Thursday! Also ~ The economy is SOOOO scary ~ we are making gradual changes ourselves lately as well....I just hope it gets better eventually!!! I am trying to stay positive and keep faith but I do think it's going to get a little worse before better ~ It's times like these that we really realize how much "materialistic" things don't matter and how much the physiological basic needs do! I think it's great that you and your family are going in a direction that will give you a more secure future (security is sooooo important to me!) Much love, hope and faith to you!! hugs*** (ps thanks for being so open and sharing your story....)

omahagrl on 01/29/2009:
I think we were seperated at birth. You are more the good twin and I have those devilish qualities! :-) Of course we have never heard about your teen years so maybe you have some devilish stories.hehehehehe

omahagrl on 01/29/2009:
AHHH the stories I could tell of bad girl behavior. My dad use to tell me "one day you'll have children and they will be like you" so this is why I have no kids...lol just kidding. I am sure if I had kids it would have changed my whole life but with 2 bad husbands I couldn't see how I could do that to them. But if I had met MJ 20 years ago I know there would have been little ones!

loveray on 01/29/2009:
sometimes in my head, i feel like i might as well just eat whatever- not care about my health or myself any more. it happens rarely, but hopefully its just the dark before the dawn! i know that feelings come and feelings go. i am just hoping they go sooner rather than later:) thank you so much for your love.

Horn_Of_Plenty on 01/29/2009:
great day for you...gotta love Obama!

Maria* on 01/29/2009:
Have a good nite!

mama_nurse on 01/29/2009:
Glad you had a better day!!! Sleep tight! hugs

biscottibody59 on 01/29/2009:
You can apply again and you're put on a waiting list for a coupon. As the coupons expire those on the waiting list get a coupon. (That's how I understand it.)

selina on 01/30/2009:
Whoa! I wish you the best luck figuring out what you owe to whom. That was pretty strange, the guy serving you the papers, weird stuff... you need to look into it carefully, I know you will. Yes, I agree that the new president has nothing to do with this economic mess - the truth is that he is trying his best to FIX IT! Hubby is going to Davos for the World Economic Forum today. He says the mood there is the worst - due to the bad economy around the whole world! Even Russia, who thought they were above it all when oil prices were up - and were acting accordingly, are changing their tactics of negotiating. Every country is hurting, it's a global economic issue... When the US sneezes, the whole world catches a cold, they say.

You seem to have wonderful and supportive parents and I feel a warmth in my heart just imagining the love that goes around in your family. Have a wonderful day and stay warm, my friend!

thinnside40 - Wednesday Jan 28, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

Here it is Wednesday...This month will be over on Saturday already..... But living one day at a time & not dealing beyond this day itself.... Planning for better days ahead? Yes...

Even though my problem seems to be solved... Which it is, but now comes the part (on my part) to buckle down & budget budget budget..... More than I ever have before.... Looking for a 2 year plan to work, instead of a 5 year plan in being totally debt free (except the mortgage)...With this $$$ we are able to take care of things that are current in payment as well as the other.... We will now just have our neccessities, everyday living expenses (power,phone,irrigation,etc.) that are month to month billings and be able to put a bit aside for emergencies...

This all does effect my eating habits greatly.... I have not been hungry since Monday afternoon... My pants are feeling loose, but not in the right way (not eating much).... I will make sure to eat what I can feel I can tolerate and just deal with maybe gaining some back when I go back to eating normal..... And I am not planning on stepping on the scale for a bit..That will prevent me from continuing beyond all this mess the habit of not eating much...Due to the potential of rapid "weightloss" feeling good in the moment..... There again, just one day at a time...... Today is where I am, tomorrow isn't promised,let alone the next minute....

Off to sort some more papers, figure a plan of action and call some agencies (thanks biscotti, I had thought about it, but hadn't forged forward in talking with anyone)...I personally feel I am liable for the debt I incurred and will pay that amount. It is just knowing how to talk them to bottom line (minus fees,interest and the such)...I will not tell them what I have to offer, until they give me that bottom line..... AND in writing!.. Paying by cashier's checks, money orders or what have you accompanied by the copy of their term agreement when payment is made.....

Menu & Activities

B:) WGF Muffin, Banana, Coffee

S:) 1 Chicken Tender (boys had for lunch), 8 oz. LS V-8

I don't think I have any more "major" phone calls to make... Whew!.... My head is throbbing...I am one the clinch my teeth, suck my tongue & try my best to not cry while talking with people on the phone... I DID NOT CRY ONCE! (that was an accomplishment!)..... Blessing of the day is the pre-schooler is off to school,  Tayt asked to take a "rest" on my bed and the baby is sleeping as well.... That has allowed me to concentrate fully in what I'm doing..... My mom called once and asked if I was any better.. When I told her I think I would feel better if they had been mad at me, she told me..."STOP beating yourself up right this instant"... Dad called earlier and told me he was taking his walk (yes, he is still walking & maintaining his 25#'s gone), he was going to get me a cashier's check and wanted to make sure the amount was enough... UGH!! This is tough!.... But, I have got to let it go and know that this is something that I told them from the get go I would totally understand if they didn't feel right doing this...(talk about a bail-out huh?)... Anyways, I am trying my darndest to stop any tears today. My eye-lids look as if they have been injected with a mega-dose of Botox (from last night's crying)... My eyes have black circles under them... We have church TONIGHT.... (((gasp))).... I have been wearing my reading glasses to try & cover-up my condition from the parent's  I babysit for and the bus driver (I have to get on to buckle the little guy)... Probably didn't work....Oh well !.. So is life sometimes and everybody has their bad day(s).... Not sure what to have for dinner now....



 Yaz, I can't reach ya any other way, so here goes : It made my day to see that you are still here and to know that you are continuing to "check-up".. I have often wondered how you are doing and prayed that you were fine.... To just see that 3 letter word "YAZ" made my heart leap!... THANK YOU!

Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

biscottibody59 on 01/28/2009:
I was doing pretty well with my "not giving unsolicited advice" of late--haha! Until I read your entry yesterday!


Have a good day--hope you feel like eating something tasty soon--I know that feeling of not wanting to eat 'cause something's eating at me!

glycrina on 01/28/2009:
I am really proud of how you are dealing with the debt. Credit card companies are really ripping people off; I know loan sharks who aren't as careless. But taking responsibility and not just putting it off and "not thinking about it", is the best start. Take small steps. With the economy the way it is right, we are all feeling the pinch. You aren't looking for handout, you just want to get this behind you. Have you read Suze Orman?

glycrina on 01/28/2009:
Re: you are right. I think Michael J Fox said Excellence I can reach for, perfection is God's business. In the end it doesn't matter if I don't get the lead part, just as long as I have fun singing, right?

legcramps on 01/28/2009:
The resolution to your problems sounds really great, I am glad you (& your parents) were able to come to this arrangement so that you can continue to live a happy life. When you adjust to your new way of living (budgeting, etc), it will become much easier for you and you will feel more content with the way things are. The best of luck to you!

Maria* on 01/28/2009:
Glad you got everything worked out okay. :-)

Yes, thanks for asking...I'm beginning to feel better this afternoon.

Beautiful photo above!

Donkey on 01/28/2009:
Ugh, nothing sits heavier in my stomach than money woes. You have my sympathies...


selina on 01/28/2009:
Hi Thin! I'm glad all is well with you!

loveray on 01/28/2009:
a little solitude sounds delectable right about now!! i hope you are having a wonderful day. love you

mama_nurse on 01/28/2009:
hope you have a great day :) ***hugs

Maria* on 01/28/2009:
Back from church...beddy-bye time now. Hope you and yours have a wonderful evening!!!

WI3 on 01/28/2009:
Have a great Thursday!

panda22 on 01/29/2009:
I like your picture in this post, the quote is very nice =D. I'm glad things are getting better, and also that you had a day to concentrate. Stress can make food the LAST thing you want, and I hope that you are able to push it aside soon! Keep trying to eat what you can, I feel for you because I know about that sinking feeling that replaces the hunger when you go through things like that. It will all be ok! Hope you are able to enjoy your Thursday! Hang in there! *hugs*

thinnside40 - Tuesday Jan 27, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

UPDATE from p.m. entry & my last update of the day:

I feel better, but worse if that makes sense.... My head is pounding and I cannot go without Advil this time...My parent's hand was extended after of course them being dumbfounded that "I" even had ever a credit card (s)... I knew that was coming. So no big suprise.... They were'nt mad, just suprised.... I know how they feel about such things and that is one reason why they never knew, nor really was it any of their concern what I as a married adult did.... Well, I still feel like a litle girl, cause we are so close and I do respect how they feel about things..They don't treat me as a child, just love me unconditionally.... Here is the kicker...My mom got a settlement from S.S. a couple months ago for 5 years back pay from a BIG NAME corporation/grocery store...She has had a spinal fusion, due to an injury on the job & another L&I injury in the 35 years she worked for them...When she wanted to retire early, they fought her and told her she would have to seek disability...Til she was 62..... Long story, but anyways she got a HUGE lump sum payment, plus some real estate of my g'mas she didn't know her name was on recently... Her words to me were (mind you her mental state/memory isn't good at all right now)...  "Sissy, the Lord knew that someone else was in need of that money too".... Thump!... Now, I did not ask HER for this help. I addressed my dad not wanting to look like I was trying to take advantage of her in knowing she had gotten this money...They live comfortably, but modest and noone would ever know that they had what they do $$$ wise..I don't really, just my dad is a SUPER wise person with his $$$... Dad had already told mom that money was her's to do with what she wanted.... Invest it, they do that.... Here is where I feel relief, but I feel greater discomfort & having a difficult time to keep from crying/sobbing... Humiliation & shame are very high... As should be..I have it coming, plus some.....It will take me a bit to have this settle in and I will need the utmost "whit" about me in the next few days to deal with the creditors and be wise with my words...... Bless my dad..He kept trying to get me to eat, he knew I was so upset and hadn't eaten much probably... I did sample his coleslaw, but passed on the split pea soup...I love pea soup, but wasn't in the mood for anything that heavy...

Thank You from the bottom of my heart for the encouraging words & support in comment... I am tahnkful for the things I do have and that we are more fortunate than many others in this world... My Heavenly Father is too good to me sometimes... For the wretched sinner & short-comer that I am..... I thank Him for His forgiveness & provisions....This is not a confession, just a testimony to how I get through and couldn't do it without Jesus...... With that I'll sign off for tonight... Thanks again for your support....


Don't know if this is a day the sun will shine...It's still dark!...Looks kinda foggy though..... Currently 15 degrees.... Boys will be getting here any time (well, suppose to).....

Have a day of "figuring", "crunching", making a couple phone calls during quiet time & who knows what else..... Not borrowing trouble and keeping an open mind about my situation... No use stressing about it, cause it ain't gunna change it... Deal with it, yes!.... I have so much to be thankful for.....

A couple weeks ago, I read an article about a woman who had successfully went "backwards" with her eating... Meaning having the higher calorie intake during the day, not at night... I have eaten the oatmeal or cereal for supper and it satisfies... So, I have been tossing around the idea of trying it.. Calorie intake would be the same, just not in normal order..... So, if you see a strange menu pop up , you know I'm not cuckoo... or am I?... Jury is still out on that one!.... Deadlocked!

Thank you for your kind words of support during this time of "unknown" of sorts for us (not trouble with hubby & I...No No No).... We are alive, well & will persevere. Nothing else we can do, but work through it....

Menu & Activities

Scrambled Egg Whites, 1/2 Avocado, Tomato, WGF Muffin.....Coffee (385)

Banana & Orange (170) 555


PBJ on flourless bread (sprouted grains) (310) 865

filing, sorting, phone-calling.....My B.P. is up... I can feel it in my face and my tongue is tingly...... If I have to talk to one more person that I cannot understand what they are saying or they can't understand me without us both asking each other to repeat what it is in the first place 3-4 times...... and they argue with me about what I want to do with "my" affairs/business/policies.... I believe I could reach through the phone and grab someone by the nose hairs! (nose hairs?!?!?! I sound so violent don't I ?  ) Got papers in the mail today that one of our policies will be increasing effective next month.. Increase of $90/mo for just Hubby & I... We knew it was a "term policy" when we took it out and figured as minimal ($23/mo.) as it was, it was worth it to cover the whole family for 10 years... Those years are gone now (too fast) and an argument insued wondering "WHY" we would cancel a policy... That was our intention if nothing had happened within that 10 years... We have other policies that are "whole"... Economy is so bad and going to get worse before it gets better...People (some) are ruthless and just don't want to let go of what they (potentially) can get... Already dealing with a financial snafoo, I certainly wasn't in the mood to argue with anyone about what I wanted or needed to do right now.... AND they DID argue with me!... It is auto-withdrawl.... Duh! If I didn't call now, I couldn't stop it in time from converting and increasing... Can't afford that right now...... Money, nor food for that matter is worth getting any more grey hair over....Yes!, I have grey hairs! Each has a name and some people can claim more than one strand on my head that they have contributed to..... LOL

Off to get the boy's snack for when they wake up....

Boys are gone.... Now is crying time..... I've faught all day long and even though I'm positive, I can't hold back the tears...My option(s) at this point is (are) to swallow every shred of pride I have and ask my parent's to help me out..... I have NEVER done that before for finances.... I made my bed and now the matress has collapsed... Stupid decisions made 5-6 years ago are now a "haunt".... May I interject now and say "PEOPLE" no matter if you NEED money for neccessities, don't use credit cards to do it.... I knew this and still do..All our cards are cut-up and accounts cancelled....But, that doesn't pay the debt.... My best for right now hasn't been good enough and they are filing lawsuit against me.....I was "served" papers yesterday in front of Tayt's dad....The guy kept yelling my name from the driveway, cigarrette in hand and asked if I was "Jerri"... I wouldn't answer him ,but Tayt's dad said "yes she is" UGH"....He tossed the papers on the front porch & said "there ya go"... The papers reak of smoke smell!... I own up to the debt and wouldn't of "hid", cause they would catch up sooner or later, so I have talked til I'm blue in the face and reached agreements for settlements, basically they will accept the debt, minus all the fees, etc..... IF I CAN pay-off within the next 2 weeks... I know many will say "tough!!! you did it, now you must pay, how stupid are you???!!!." Well, honestly pretty stupid!.... I have changed my ways since taking these accounts, but as known interest is a killer... I did not charge things we did not need at the time I used them in hopes that things financially would get better.... They have gotten better, but still other basic living needs have skyrocketed and continue the older our children get and the "minimum" payment doesn't make a dent....My income as a SHM is equal to what it would be if I went out to get a job & spent a majority on childcare..... Hubby has a good job, our house is worth $90k at best....Our cars are in the 80's and I shop @ thrift stores, etc...... So, there you have it... My nerves are shot, but I'm hopeful & trust that if I do talk with my parent's they will not thrash me.... I need to do this the sooner the better, so I know where I stand and what to anticipate if they don't agree to help me out.... They are "very financially sound", even if they did help... But, if they don't help and tell me to deal with it, I will not have hard feelings and respect their decision...They did things the right way and taught me the same, but I was at desperate times/desperate measures and wanted to "take care of it on my own"... There are downfalls to being stubborn and independant.... Now, its' biting me in the rear-end...... I'm sorry to those of you who take care of business/finances the right way and due to people like me, you are paying for my mistakes in higher interest, etc...... I am paying and I think it is the hardest thing I will ever have to do is to look my dad in the eye and let him know I have been a failure... I would rather die than to "eat crow"... But, dying right now isn't an option for me and I must take a "hard swallow" and go get in my car and drive 12 miles with this on my mind...It will be better after I spit it out, but right now it hurts like the dickens.....I (we) are able to get money from ourselves on certain policies (paying back to ourselves) and that will help, but still not enough..... Again, I'm sorry....I have to go before I chicken out!


 Oatmeal(double) w/Skim Milk (345) 1,310  1/2 c. coleslaw (dont care the #"s right now, but it wasn't much...No mayonnaise or M.W. .. Vinegar & ????)

Apple w/Honey (110) 1,420

Water Intake = No less than 120 oz.

Wishing you much LOVE, HAPPINESS & SUCCESS!


Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

legcramps on 01/27/2009:
Well I could sure use some of that attitude of yours! Really, you are quite the role model - regardless of what you're going through, the fact that you can still be so courageous and can charge forward is a lesson we all need to learn at some time! Thanks for sharing, I hope the days ahead will bring some form of contentment over your current situation...

skinnyjeans on 01/27/2009:
I heard about that "backwards" diet, too. Let me know how it goes!! :)

mama_nurse on 01/27/2009:
Have a great day~ I have a lot of appreciation for the way you "deal with" stressful situations~still finding the positive and not letting "it" run your life~Thats pretty inspirational! Yay for you! I've heard several people eat the majority of their cals before 5 pm and 'none' or very minimal cal's after 5 pm~ I think that they try to eat a good amount for breakfast, a fair amount for snacks and the majority at lunch, eating just a couple hundred after 5pm. I have also thought about doing that~I just seem to feel the most hungry after 5pm, LOL which I know is not the best situation....We will all figure it out though:)) Getting to know our bodies takes some time (as you already know and I am still figuring it out). Best of luck and hope you have a WONDERFUL day! It's -20 degrees here (brrrrrr!) Trying to stay warm! Hugs

selina on 01/27/2009:
Backwards diet sounds like fun! Stay warm!

selina on 01/27/2009:
MRI - I have to wait until a certain time of my cycle, etc sorry for the TMI. I wish I could do it tomorrow so I could get over with it...

I hope your troubles will be resolved soon. Have a good day!

skinnyfatgirl on 01/27/2009:
I always try to save my healthest meal for the last meal.. the one with lowest carbs and low in fat..

it makes the most sense to use the higher calorie food during the day when you need them.. instead of at night when you dn't

omahagrl on 01/27/2009:
I may give the reverse eating a try as my problem is at night. I hear you on the juggling. I have a lot of things in the air and I know in a few weeks things will get better. Hope your day turns out bright and shiney.

Maria* on 01/27/2009:
Not going to music practice (tummy ache)...

Sorry you are going through so much, too...Sounds like you're handling it well, though.

mama_nurse on 01/27/2009:

biscottibody59 on 01/27/2009:
Yeah, I love the idea of "not borrowing trouble"--it's always a good daily goal! Doesn't sound like your day was much fun--but it was productive--I hope:-)

I also hope we don't get slammed with ice to the point of losing power, but if we do, I'm semi-prepared! It's supposed to be in the 60sF by the weekend for crying out loud!

Stay warm and hang in there!

mama_nurse on 01/27/2009:
Good luck talking with your dad ~ wish you the best of luck! Don't beat yourself up ~ You learned from it and that is what matters most! Best of luck to you....You're in my thoughts 'n prayers! *hugs

see_maw on 01/27/2009:
Seems like everyone is going through a rough time right now financially and you know what gets me thru it? Somewhere out there, someone always has it worse than you. I know this may not be comforting but you do have a 90,000 home, food, clothes, warmth and parents who will more than likely help you. My thoughts and prayers are with you. **HUGS**

biscottibody59 on 01/28/2009:
Before you go off and pay this, you really should consult a third party. Consumer Credit Counseling Service (CCCS) or an attorney referred from your local bar association for a free consultation. You may not be liable for these debts.


Also, don't ever close major credit card accounts--it affects your credit score negatively.

selina on 01/28/2009:
I'm so relieved to read your entry... I really thought it was a health problem you were having... So glad you have supportive parents that can help you both financially and emotionally. I am sure that you would do the same for them if needed - it so happens that this time around, they are there to help YOU. I am sure they are happy to be able to help someone they love most in time of need. I know I would. Have a great day!

panda22 on 01/28/2009:
Hey Thin, I'm really glad that you have parents that are there for you and your family in times of need. That's what family is about! I don't know what I would do without mine either! I know that you feel shame in terms of the money issues, but don't take it out on yourself! Times are hard right now and you do a LOT for your family both physically and emotionally every day so you deserve to find some relief. If that relief comes by way of help from your parents than I think you have the right idea about accepting it and being grateful for it and thanking God for what he's placed in your path. He is the giver of all things and He leads us on the path that we are to follow. Everything happens for a reason, and I think this will be a big part of your life and bring you and your family even closer. I'm so glad to hear it's not some major health thing going on or marital problems. There is a lot of love in your life and I'm so happy that you have that hun! Hang in there, this too shall pass! You are a good person and deserve good things! *HUGS* hope you have a great day!

WI3 on 01/28/2009:
I am facing some serious financial issues right now due to the economy...it is hard and it is even harder to leave it in the hands of the Lord. I am glad you posted your story because it helps me keep the faith. I am praying for His will to be done while I am trying to do the things I Need to do as well. Thank you for the inspiration!

omahagrl on 01/28/2009:
Sista we are so much alike it is scary. When I divorced my 2nd husband I dealt with my grief in the form of spending. Not only did I blow through a $17,000 divorce settlement i incurred over $20,000 in credit card debt. One of the hesitations that MJ had about marrying me was my debt. I could have paid them off but kept spending instead of paying. Needless to say 2 years ago I had to cash in my 401K to pay off credit cards as I was getting put to the lawyers. Not only did I spend my retirement on the debt I was penalized for early withdrawl. I am just like you where asking for help is hard and I would not even ask MJ for the money. There is nothing more upsetting then being in this situation and I am so glad you have someone to help. Life will be so much better without this stress. I will never ever get into such debt again and I know you are feeling the same. (((HUGS)))

yaz on 01/28/2009:
(I know it's been a while) I log on and check up on you from time to time :) I'm always rooting for you my dearest! I felt like I needed to write to you on this entry. You are a marvelous person and can get through this. I can't imagine what your feeling but I will share with you that because my parents helped me - I was able to pay off my credit card debt that was spent wisely/necessarily. I have them to thank for it. Don't feel bad, I think everyone makes these mistakes and God gives us the strength to get through it and the people to help us. Again, stay strong. You will be fine and you will get through this. I send you a big hug from your pal yaz... oh btw I made my entries private - which is why they're not viewable. I did it because it helps me enter the truth at all times and helps me not be so self concious. I gained a few lbs back and I hurt my back but I learned how to use an exercise ball (which was a mystery to me)... hopefully I'll be on a better path to true/good weight loss. TTYS

thinnside40 - Monday Jan 26, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

Started my morning a bit different than I have been.... Got Meg up earlier than usual..Being able to spend time with her before school.... Trying to devote as much "just me being mom time" to her before the boys arrive.... I sometimes feel my kids get what is left over and not the best I can give to them... Anyways, Tayt was on time, but the brothers weren't. 2.5 hours late... I need to reinerate I appreciate a phone call before hand and not an hour after their suppose to be here.. I worry!.... Nuff about that....

Did a bit of tidying while I had the free time..... Still have laundry to do, balancing the checkbook and a few dishes... 

Back to fitting in time for Biking/Gazelling this week every day.... My muscles are screaming at me.... Busy weekend moving around and not being idle, but just not the same...

Dinnertime for the boys in a bit, then pre-school for the one.. Best be getting with it before time slips away....

Menu & Activities

B:)Apple Cinnamon E.M., 1/2 Banana, Yogurt, SF FooFoo Coffee (Homemade Irish Cream Latte) (310)

S:) Orange (80) 390

D:) PBJ on Flourless Bread (275)  Apple (80)(355) 745

Been balancing & paying bills.... (ick)... Laundry spinning & tumbling is non-stop.... Paperwork sorting & burning of "junk mail".... Sun has been shining most of the day, but it is a whoppin' 27 degrees.... Suppose to be 11 degrees tonight. Brr!! Time to get kid's snack, then I'll finish crunching numbers.... I'll steep me some tea!

3 Mini Tootsies (32) 777 (chocolate "stress reliever" )

S:)Mini Bag Popcorn (100) 877

Something happened this afternoon that I was anticipating might....Had me in sort of distraut  mood in the beginning... Nothing I can do about it right this instant, but have been working on rectifying the problem for a while.... Not good enough!... So, I am "down",but it doesn't have my spirit or attitude squashed...It has my "nerves" for the moment and I pray that I don't have an anxiety attack that wakes me out of sleep,like they usually do (that sub-concious thing)...I will pray for God to have control on my mind as I sleep and for an answer maybe to help the situation.... I need every bit of "whit" about me here within the next few days...   I am human and blood can't come out of a turnip! That should answer enough of the ? of what it is... No details, just letting you know it isn't anything "horrible", just "icky"...I'm not hungry by any means, couldn't eat the popcorn this afternoon.....  Opposite of most people when "things" happen...I don't  feel like eating, instead of ravaging..... .. I will be alright, just may not be "myself" for you all for a couple days.... Sorry!... I HATE THIS, but know it is happening for a reason only my Heavenly Father can answer... In His time, not mine... He has the WHOLE WORLD in HIS hands....

I hope to go a couple miles on the Gazelle after I eat... It is late (8:00 p.m.)..... Hubby was late coming in and the kids have been being good as I have needed to make phone calls, etc.... Time to go eat with them.... Night Night....

S:) Oatmeal & ? (haven't even thought about it)


Water = No less than 120 oz.

Wishing Much Love, Happiness & Success for YOU!


Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

Maria* on 01/26/2009:
Good that you and your sweet Daughter had some special Mother/Daughter time this morning!!! Hope you're having a wonderful day!!! (smile!)

mama_nurse on 01/26/2009:
Hope you have a WONDERFUL day! xo

mama_nurse on 01/26/2009:
Thanks :) I hope so too ~ I feel SOOOOO overwhelmed today (with my whole semester). I have very few "blank" spaces in my planner between now and mid-May! I just hope I can somehow keep my head above water..... Sigh

glycrina on 01/26/2009:
It is nice to see that you have really kept the weight off for so long. Congratulations.

WI3 on 01/26/2009:
Tomorrow is my bill paying day..ugh what a pain lol. My mother used to babysit when we were little, and I never felt left out...I liked having the other little kids around. The more the merrier! Once the other kids left and it was just us, it was cool but we didn't feel ignored ever. Have a great week!

mama_nurse on 01/26/2009:
you're in my thoughts and prayers during this difficult time ~ keep your faith. blessings, N

selina on 01/27/2009:
Hi Thin! I hope all is well with you.... have a good day!

selina on 01/27/2009:
I love those strategies up there!

panda22 on 01/27/2009:
Hey Thin! Sorry to hear about the stress in your day, but just know that you are still doing fantastic! I haven't been on here in few days, but it looks like you had a nice weekend =) I'm praying for your mom that her brain scan results are ok. My mother's mom had Alzheimer's, so I can understand how it's weighing on your mind. I hope that you have a good day today and that the stress in your life alleviates itself quickly! Hang in there and know that we are all here for you! *hugs*

Maria* on 01/27/2009:
Hope all works out well...am praying for you and your family....

thinnside40 - Sunday Jan 25, 2009
(Food Log~Walk~Bike~Ball~Gazelle~Positive Thinking)
Weight: 200.5

Short on time...Slept decent last night..Woke without a H/A and not feeling like a cold is coming on.... Had a dream that my parent's came over & told us that mom has Alzheimers.... She does go see the doc for her brain scan results this Friday... Sitting on my sub-concious I guess....

Agenda after church is taking a nap & tidying the house.... Best get with kicking Ben out of the bathroom & figuring out what I'm going to wear....Good Day!

B:) Apple Cinnamon WG Muffin, Banana, swig of Pom/Blue Juice (270)

S:) Red Globe Grapes (60)  330

Diet Pepsi


D:) PBHS (1 sl. Cracked Wheat Sourdough, SBPB, Honey) (250) 580

Coffee (SF Vanilla Bean Syrup, FF Milk) (45) 625

Meg is shoveling snow out of the driveway in hopes of daddy giving her $1 (he will)...I just tucked Ben into a nap (very grouchy), Hubby is snoring in the recliner....I'm not far behind... Bringing Meg in in a few minutes to read/rest..... Leave for church service@ 5 p.m.....

S:) Orange (80) 705

Small piece of oatmeal/carrot cake (it's all gone - gave most of it away) (200?) 905

S:) 1 & 1/2 c. Stir-Fry (Cabbage, Bean Sprouts, Kidney Beans,Carrots & lil' Shredded Pork Sirloin sauteed with minimal Olive Oil & dash of LS Soy Sauce.) (300?) 1,205 Actually packed the veggie mixture in the crock-pot to the tippy top before church and it was perfect when we got home (about 1/2 crock-pot worth when done)... Porky was in a small slow cooker..... 1 sl. Cracked Wheat Sourdough.... (120) 1,325

D/S:) SF Pudding Cup, 4 oz. yogurt & carrot sticks......(125)1,450

Calories are good, just not the best quality overall with cake & bread.... Have the munchies..... Knawed on carrots to cure them.... And it DID cure them..... Remember that next time!!!!

We did take my parent's some soup & cake to church this morning.... Dad told me he was wonderin' what he was going to fix for dinner.....He does a majority of the cooking these days with mom recovering from hand surgery, plus not sure she really knows how or what to fix... This memory thing really bites right now for her.... Tonight dad said that the food saved the day.... Then gave me the EMPTY clean dishes.... LOL...I said "they're EMPTY"... His response?..... "I know!" as he patted his belly.... Mom said "your beans are workin' on me!"... At least she remembers that beans cause gas... I say that tongue in cheek.. I have to keep my sense of humor through this with her......

My nap was short lived this afternoon... Neighbor lady called about 30 minutes into it...... I'm tired, but not enough to retire for the night... Instead of Gazelle or Bike... I am going to work in my bedroom while I have some time without other children...  Didn't work out last week every time I tried, so need to renig to utilizing this time...... I'll be reading my new magazines to fall asleep by when I have a nice fresh bed made.... Night Night!

H2o= No less than 120 oz.

MUCH Love, Happiness & Success to you!

Progress as of today: 36.5 lbs lost so far, only 45.5 lbs to go!

Maria* on 01/25/2009:
Hope your Mom is okay, Thin. Glad that you are feeling better!!!

Donkey on 01/25/2009:
Yes, I hope your mom is OK. I also wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed yesterday's graphics, of all the "Happy Housewives". The photo at the bottom was such a trip, with a big smile on that beautiful baby's face (totally unaware of all the work he's made for his mama) and the cat looking mighty, mighty guilty. Thanks for the laugh :-)

WI3 on 01/25/2009:
Happy you are feeling better!! Have a great evening!

mama_nurse on 01/25/2009:
Meg sounds soooo sweet~ What grade is she in again? My oldest is in 2nd this year! ahhhh. Kids are such blessings!!! :) Your supper sounds yummmy (just curious when you say dinner is it "lunch" and when you say supper is it "dinner"? I've never heard anyone call "lunch" dinner before so just curious....not criticizing it at all just being nosey:) ENJOY CHURCH!!! We loved the movie, girls thought it was sweet and they really enjoyed it:) Hugs

mama_nurse on 01/25/2009:
PS RE: grocery shopping at walmart~I know, it's so expensive anymore and i still have to go back this week for stuff for a few more meals and more milk....:O(

Maria* on 01/25/2009:
Hope you're having a good evening!!! Have a good nite!

selina on 01/26/2009:
Sound like you are having a great day! You are so lucky to have your parents living close to you..... Have a great Monday!

loveray on 01/26/2009:
yes, i have sort of forgotten to "update" everyone, but my mom has been doing SOOO well since august. what a blessing after 6 years of struggle. it's my parents 30th wedding anniversary in a few weeks, so i am planning a surprise party- we have had much grace bestowed upon us. xoxo

biscottibody59 on 01/26/2009:
Do the best you can with the exercise--have a great week thinnie!

Maria* on 01/26/2009:

mama_nurse on 01/26/2009:
Thanks :) I hope so too ~ I feel SOOOOO overwhelmed today (with my whole semester). I have very few "blank" spaces in my planner between now and mid-May! I just hope I can somehow keep my head above water..... Sigh

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