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happy-1 - public bio

Location: Los Angeles

Education: Even More Education

Family Info (spouse, kids, pets): Single, no kids. One dog. At 40, my eggs are probably a little old for any kids to happen. I would like to be a foster parent in 15 years when I turn 55. I'd also like a husband/life partner.

How do you feel about yourself, your weight, your decision to change? At 36/37 I was horribly unhealthy, pre-diabetic, burning cash in an unsustainable lifestyle (not extravagant, just impossible), a crappy friend, family member, employee, and dog owner. Pretty much scoring zeros across the board even though I was doing everything "right"... Job, apartment, friends, boyfriend. On paper it looked like I was doing great, but I was desperately unhappy and in a terrible relationship that left me devastated. Towards the end of that relationship, I lost my job and moved in with my parents which accelerated the breakup.... which was possibly the best thing that ever happened was to have that relationship end. Since then I have lost almost 100 lbs or will have by the end of the year. I made the conscious choice several years ago when I moved in with my parents that I was only from that point forward going to take on fitness and life changes that I could easily do every day for the rest of my life.

How long have you been overweight? All my life except 2x... College when I was a starving student who got everywhere by bike (SO SKINNY) and then again when after I broke up with my first boyfriend and I went to a personal trainer. I got back down to 175 for a week and then it started coming back again and I couldn't control it... I ballooned up again because I wasn't in control of my life, my emotions, or my habits.

What things have you tried before to lose the weight? A million diets and "focused time blocks" where I put a ton of effort into losing weight and getting in shape. None worked. The first question I ask myself now about every change is "Is it sustainable? Can I easily do this for the next 30 years?" If it is yes, then I do it. If not... Meh. Pass.

What is the number one reason you want to lose weight? Health. I really, really want to be healthy and strong so I can be a better employee, daughter, dog owner, and friend. I let too much slide in my life because I am not in good shape.

What are some other reasons? I really, really want a husband/life partner and I need to be sexy but also healthy to be a good team member. I'm not interested in going it alone. I can, I have for 40 years... but I don't want the next 50 to be a solo act anymore. To that end, I also want to be healthy and a good role model so I can be a good foster parent.

What is your goal weight? 180

What is the first thing you want to do when you reach your goal? Thru hike the Adirondack trail.

Are the people closest to you supportive? If not, why? My parents try to be supportive but they have their issues and lose sight of the big picture easily. My friends are also unhealthy and do not want to accommodate the changes I am making because it makes them feel threatened. I have dropped contact with most people because I just really need to be/do things differently.

What is the worst thing about being overweight? Lost opportunities for living a great life of adventure. Feeling like shit all the time. Being a bottomless black hole of consumption... food, money, resources, emotion, love... Just being a pit that things disappear into and never come back out again. Not being the change I want to see in the world.

What is the best thing about you? Grit. I might despair, I might hit bottom, but I will always turn, turn, and come round right. 'Tis the gift to be simple, 'tis the gift to be free 'Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be, And when we find ourselves in the place just right, 'Twill be in the valley of love and delight. When true simplicity is gained, To bow and to bend we shan't be ashamed, To turn, turn will be our delight, Till by turning, turning we come 'round right.

How will losing weight affect those around you? One of my friends is changing her life in a similar way with the help of an occupational therapist... and the FitBit I bought her which she gave me SO MUCH CRAP FOR and then used... and bought the fancy scale to go with it. Hooker. Good for her. I may need to make new friends. Some of my old friends will have to fall away... They don't want to make the changes to be healthier. Hopefully my parents will continue to follow my lead and work on their own health. They are morbidly obese and diabetic. Hopefully I will have more successful relationships and more happiness over all. I'm not on a Die-it, I'm on a Life-it.

On a scale of 1 to 10 (low to high) how determined are you to reach your goal? 10